This is the last of a three part series outlining one young M.D.'s experiences as an intern headed toward a residency in ophthalmology:
Anonymous, M.D.
July 1st, 2006…finally, what I’d been eagerly awaiting for begins—the start of my ophthalmology residency! But wait, I’d just spent the entire previous year learning the intricacies of hospital based medicine: how to rule in or out a myocardial infarction, how to run a code, how to work-up fatigue, how to dose chemotherapeutics, and I was finally a master of electrolytes and their replacement. The problem being, NONE of this is relevant to ophthalmology…well perhaps the whole myocardial infarction thing, cause I was about to soon suffer one as I started call as an ophthalmologist.
It’s a funny thing, near the end of internship I would prance around the hospital with a stride of confidence, and I was comfortable in my ability to manage most medical conditions, at least initially before the team could help modify and clarify treatment. And thus it went, the hapless medical student transformed from MD to actual doctor. But internship was all just a tease; it allowed me to get a feel of what it is like to be confident only to have it stripped away once residency actually began.
I recall my first night of call, I was beckoned to the ER to evaluate a 50 something year old high myope…translation: high my-what?!?! He had some symptoms of a curtain closing, but he was at no play that he could remember. The senior found the retinal detachment and called in backup for repair, I on the other had found a parking spot and the restroom, by the time I actually made it to the ER, the patient was on the way to the OR.
The feeling of usefulness that I had developed from internship was quickly stripped away in one fell swoop. I realized my place was, yet again, somewhere in between doorstop and volunteer, on second thought, they both at least provided a service, I now needed to learn a new language and find a way to make myself useful. And until I figured out some way to help more than hinder, I was no longer a doctor, just another MD.
Back to part 1: Internship Begins
Back to part 2: Ophthalmology Match Day